Mmmmmmm...... recently I have been pondering LIFE. The vastness, depth, and timing of it.
I have been heart broken recently by the amount of hurt and devastation a few of my friends and patients have been facing and walking through. I have also been doing a lot of strategic praying for my family--specifically my sweet, hard-working brothers, who have lost sight of the purpose of the LIFE. SO what have I been doing? PRAYING.... that's all I know to do, all I can do most of the time. I PRAY for them--pray for a covering of peace and an extra awakening of the Holy Spirit to just fill or burst in their lives.
As I was praying this morning, the Lord just laid a word on my heart----"KEEP." He HAS them. He is going to KEEP them. HE is KEEPING them. Wow..... what a faithful God we serve. sometimes if I stopped worrying about how the Lord is going to move in other's lives, and just placed my utmost HOPE in HIM, my prayers may change. My outlook would probably change. And my heart would definitely change. In the process, I NOW BELIEVE their circumstances will change. The Lord HAS this--I don't, however hard I try to control the situation through my prayer. MMM, thank you Jesus for that gentle reminder.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Phil. 4:6
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Monday, March 3, 2014
The Journey to Fostering/Adoption
"You're REALLY going to foster? Have you thought about this? Why do you feel like you should foster?".........
These are just a few of the questions (and you can imagine the looks) I have received, since starting my journey towards pursuing foster/adoption back in December 2013. I am a single 25 year old, who lives an abundantly blessed life, that some days seems selfish. I started to wrestle with an unsettled feeling that left me pondering if I was doing all I could for His kingdom. I currently am called to be an occupational therapist, lead a Bible study of women peers, serve with youth at church, and teach 5 year olds in Sunday school--this was my ministry, so why did I feel like the Lord was pushing me to delve deeper? As I prayed and really dug into Scripture, I struggled to fully see myself "laying my life down" on a daily basis. I was in a comfortable place in many ways, but the Lord would not quiet the stirring within me to take another step of faith--little did I know what I would end up learning about myself.
Over the past several months the Lord has continuously provided small nudges towards fostering--I initially resisted--until one Sunday I was fully struck by the power of the Holy Spirit, and just began to sob with an uncontrollable and heavy heart for foster children. I continued to ask Him for open doors, and guess what, He provided them.
At around the same time of my battle with my flesh, my eyes were led to rest on this scripture. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” The story of the Bible is one of sacrifice and redemption, and as Christians we are to proclaim that story in every facet of our lives.
I was are keenly aware that this was going to be difficult (to say the least). However, I rested in the fact that 2 Timothy 3:16-17 promises us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” I am simply to be obedient to Christ, and expect Him to do the work of equipping me and walking with me every step of the way.
3 weeks ago I started the foster course through the Cabinet of Kentucky, and my beautiful and godly mother has joined and supported me every step of the way.
Along this same time, I began looking into buying a home, so that I would have a place to take in my foster kids one day. I was not pre-approved to buy a home, and other doors began to slowly close around me, along with overwhelming feelings of discontentment and insecurity in various facets of life. I struggled to resist the frustration with these closed-doors. Why would God bring me this far and not provide? Little did I know what He was doing behind the scenes (of course He was...)....
2 weeks ago I was dwelling in His presence and seeking His direction of my life. I clearly heard Him speak to my heart, "Bethany, how do you think you can take in children, in this current lifestyle you live, but you have not relinquished to me your full heart, your heart that I want to make ready for a spouse one day." For lack of a better word, I was shocked. I had always thought that I had given the Lord my whole heart, but what I have recently come to learn, is that I was holding onto the part of my heart He wants to prepare for my future husband. This terrifies me. More than fostering children and then having them taken away, this scares me more.
I had held on to this inner pride idol of independence and self-sufficiency, and was in the meantime depriving the Lord of heaping blessings upon me in this area of my life. The more I sought His will on this, the more I began to peel back layers of myself and gained further clarity that He was ready to prepare me for meeting my future husband. As I counseled with godly women of wisdom, I discovered that they had similar concerns for me during this time, and knew the Lord would reveal these things to me in His time. As you can see, I am still in this journey. My mom and I are continuing to attend the foster course, and plan on finishing it. However, I know that right now the Lord is strengthening me, peeling back more layers of my heart, and drawing me closer to Him to prepare me for the man I will serve alongside one day. I know that I am called to fostering and/or adoption one day, but I am also fully aware that He will more readily reveal to me the timing of these as I rest in His presence and develop patience.
Today I cling to Psalm 46:5 where it says, "God is within her, she will not fall." We have this promise for all of eternity. This makes me smile, this makes my heart swell, and this calms any doubts/fears I may have at the present. He is forever faithful. I am looking forward in anticipation to the rest of this journey.
I love you dear readers, and pray that He is constantly expanding your territories and overflowing your cup,
B
These are just a few of the questions (and you can imagine the looks) I have received, since starting my journey towards pursuing foster/adoption back in December 2013. I am a single 25 year old, who lives an abundantly blessed life, that some days seems selfish. I started to wrestle with an unsettled feeling that left me pondering if I was doing all I could for His kingdom. I currently am called to be an occupational therapist, lead a Bible study of women peers, serve with youth at church, and teach 5 year olds in Sunday school--this was my ministry, so why did I feel like the Lord was pushing me to delve deeper? As I prayed and really dug into Scripture, I struggled to fully see myself "laying my life down" on a daily basis. I was in a comfortable place in many ways, but the Lord would not quiet the stirring within me to take another step of faith--little did I know what I would end up learning about myself.
Over the past several months the Lord has continuously provided small nudges towards fostering--I initially resisted--until one Sunday I was fully struck by the power of the Holy Spirit, and just began to sob with an uncontrollable and heavy heart for foster children. I continued to ask Him for open doors, and guess what, He provided them.
At around the same time of my battle with my flesh, my eyes were led to rest on this scripture. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” The story of the Bible is one of sacrifice and redemption, and as Christians we are to proclaim that story in every facet of our lives.
I was are keenly aware that this was going to be difficult (to say the least). However, I rested in the fact that 2 Timothy 3:16-17 promises us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” I am simply to be obedient to Christ, and expect Him to do the work of equipping me and walking with me every step of the way.
3 weeks ago I started the foster course through the Cabinet of Kentucky, and my beautiful and godly mother has joined and supported me every step of the way.
Along this same time, I began looking into buying a home, so that I would have a place to take in my foster kids one day. I was not pre-approved to buy a home, and other doors began to slowly close around me, along with overwhelming feelings of discontentment and insecurity in various facets of life. I struggled to resist the frustration with these closed-doors. Why would God bring me this far and not provide? Little did I know what He was doing behind the scenes (of course He was...)....
2 weeks ago I was dwelling in His presence and seeking His direction of my life. I clearly heard Him speak to my heart, "Bethany, how do you think you can take in children, in this current lifestyle you live, but you have not relinquished to me your full heart, your heart that I want to make ready for a spouse one day." For lack of a better word, I was shocked. I had always thought that I had given the Lord my whole heart, but what I have recently come to learn, is that I was holding onto the part of my heart He wants to prepare for my future husband. This terrifies me. More than fostering children and then having them taken away, this scares me more.
I had held on to this inner pride idol of independence and self-sufficiency, and was in the meantime depriving the Lord of heaping blessings upon me in this area of my life. The more I sought His will on this, the more I began to peel back layers of myself and gained further clarity that He was ready to prepare me for meeting my future husband. As I counseled with godly women of wisdom, I discovered that they had similar concerns for me during this time, and knew the Lord would reveal these things to me in His time. As you can see, I am still in this journey. My mom and I are continuing to attend the foster course, and plan on finishing it. However, I know that right now the Lord is strengthening me, peeling back more layers of my heart, and drawing me closer to Him to prepare me for the man I will serve alongside one day. I know that I am called to fostering and/or adoption one day, but I am also fully aware that He will more readily reveal to me the timing of these as I rest in His presence and develop patience.
Today I cling to Psalm 46:5 where it says, "God is within her, she will not fall." We have this promise for all of eternity. This makes me smile, this makes my heart swell, and this calms any doubts/fears I may have at the present. He is forever faithful. I am looking forward in anticipation to the rest of this journey.
I love you dear readers, and pray that He is constantly expanding your territories and overflowing your cup,
B
Thursday, August 29, 2013
What if?
Psalm 116:1~2
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
The crazy thing is, sometimes my selfishness causes me to not talk to the Lord as I should, yet He knows me. He knows my heart. He knows my desire to sit and worship at His feet one day. The crazy thing is that He longs for us to call out to Him-to just say His name. So much power in that one Name. What would life look like if we were in that constant communication with Him? How would that communication change our life? What would our relationship look like? What if we put the effort into our relationship with Jesus... the man that died for us, the Father that gave His Son for us. Just things I have been pondering. Things I am praying become a daily life change that is evidence by those around me. Oh how I love Him.
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
The crazy thing is, sometimes my selfishness causes me to not talk to the Lord as I should, yet He knows me. He knows my heart. He knows my desire to sit and worship at His feet one day. The crazy thing is that He longs for us to call out to Him-to just say His name. So much power in that one Name. What would life look like if we were in that constant communication with Him? How would that communication change our life? What would our relationship look like? What if we put the effort into our relationship with Jesus... the man that died for us, the Father that gave His Son for us. Just things I have been pondering. Things I am praying become a daily life change that is evidence by those around me. Oh how I love Him.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Song of the Heart
This song has recently been reaching deep into my soul, tugging at my heart strings....Thanks Hillsong. :)
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Utterly Unfathomable Love
I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3:12
Each day I am in awe of all the Lord has blessed me with, and a life that if ended tomorrow would be more than I ever could have asked for. I often ask, "Why me?" He has yet to answer that, except to tell me to keep giving, keep smiling, and keep praising Him. I want to be challenged, I want to be pushed, and I want to experience more of the abundance of His love each and every day.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Each day I am in awe of all the Lord has blessed me with, and a life that if ended tomorrow would be more than I ever could have asked for. I often ask, "Why me?" He has yet to answer that, except to tell me to keep giving, keep smiling, and keep praising Him. I want to be challenged, I want to be pushed, and I want to experience more of the abundance of His love each and every day.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Settling in to Life in the N.K.Y
Friday, July 20, 2012
Persuasion.
I have recently begun reading the book Persuasion by Jane Austen. In it is a beautiful quote concerning love-- "You need not tell me that you had a pleasant evening. I can see it in your eye. I perfectly see how the hours passed. Anne half smiled and said, 'Do you see that in my eye?' 'Yes, I do. Your countenance perfectly informs me that you were in company last night with the person whom you think the most agreeable in the world, the person who interests you more than all the rest of the world together.' A blush spread over Anne's cheeks. She could say nothing."
I am only writing this, so I can have it on file for when that person who interests me more than all the world together pursues me. Definitely, cliche', I know....However, knowing I have never felt this before intrigues me and excites me for when my 'most agreeable' man comes along. Ooh la la.
Even more inspiring though, are the words the Lord spoke through Jesus Calling this morning-- "The path I have called you to travel is exquisitely right for you. The more closely you follow My leading, the more fully I can develop your gifts. To follow me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your desire to please other people. However, your closeness to Me will bless others by enabling you to shine brightly in this dark world.
Few words were never truer. Love me my Heavenly Father. :)
I am only writing this, so I can have it on file for when that person who interests me more than all the world together pursues me. Definitely, cliche', I know....However, knowing I have never felt this before intrigues me and excites me for when my 'most agreeable' man comes along. Ooh la la.
Even more inspiring though, are the words the Lord spoke through Jesus Calling this morning-- "The path I have called you to travel is exquisitely right for you. The more closely you follow My leading, the more fully I can develop your gifts. To follow me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your desire to please other people. However, your closeness to Me will bless others by enabling you to shine brightly in this dark world.
Few words were never truer. Love me my Heavenly Father. :)
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