Strength

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~ 2 Cor. 12:9

I am so weak. My mind is weak, my spirit is weak, and I am tired. I am tired of crying, tired of praying, and tired of attempting to practice self-control. The sad thing is that I am drained and it has only been one day. The Lord has done so much in the past few days to evidence His hand in my life. However, I am still continually having to fight the enemies thoughts and my owns thoughts and actions. When will I relinquish everything to Him? At the end of the day, yesterday, I thought I had submitted everything to the Lord, but when I woke up this morning I realized that is not the case. I am hurting deeply, but at the same time reflecting on all the Lord spoke to me yesterday. It is incredible how part of the reason I am hurting is because I lost the vision and purpose for my life. Deep down I know I am very responsible for the hurt I am feeling and it is a guilt-ridden feeling, knowing that I pulled someone along with me. I took someone else's vision and made it my own.

However, God's timing is always perfect and last night He opened up an opportunity for me to attend a church service about personalities and giftings. I learned my giftings (which wasn't a complete surprise). I realized I knew myself a lot better than I thought I did. I am gifted in Mercy, Exhortation, Faith (this one was actually shocking considering the circumstances), Service/Help, and Hospitality. This is a step towards discovering and developing my purposed-driven life and is very encouraging.

The hurt is more difficult in the mornings, with the LONG day looming in front of me. It felt like yesterday would never did, but IT DID! And I slept--Praise the Lord!

Wow do I feel better after I write down all that my soul is oppressed with. Thank you my beautiful Jesus for coming to my rescue and giving me outlets and resources in my time of need.

Love your daughter.