Jehovah Jireh

My heart is aching for those children left dying in the streets. My heart is aching that I cannot give a home and love to each of those orphans with scabies and gaping wounds on their skin due to improper nutrition and conditions. My heart is aching for each of those children that do not feel loved or accepted by anyone. My heart is aching for those 60% of girls that will grow up to live a life of prostitution in Russia. It aches for those 70% of orphan boys in Russia who will end up in jail or prison. My heart aches for those hurting. But, it mostly aches because I feel like I can never do enough. I feel as though I am on the sidelines watching, but it is not my time to enter the game. The Lord has called me to wait, while in the process, I sit on the sidelines and pray....pray and fast for those children that I cannot physically come in contact with and help. The peace He has given me with through this struggle is that He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord our provider, and He has called other people to spread their resources and abilities and touch these children's lives. And in the process, He has called me to pour my heart into prayer for the world and what He will call me into in the future.

The problem is, where are they? Where are we when these children are suffering and have no place to lay their heads? Are we truly listening and trusting God with our lives? Are we trusting He will provide for us, when we pray and trust He will provide that orphan with a meal the next day? It is a challenge for me to hear my own words when I know one day I will be called to take a huge step of faith, trust God with my life in another country, and go to bather open wounds and help a feeble child raise its spoon to it mouth. I am excited for that day though. I am pumped for the opportunity to witness pain that many people will not ever witness in their lifetime. But, I am most ecstatic about witnessing the look on a child's face that shows they have felt God's love through me, a look that shows they know what it is to be loved by our heavenly Father--it is unlike any other feeling, and it is the only hope and love that can truly change a life.