The wonderful and beautiful woman I meet with for discipleship encouraged me to write or journal significant stories in my life so that when I need to recount them for encouragement I can go back to them.
So....here is, by far, my favorite life encounter. I don't know why I don't share it more, but it has significantly and positively altered my outlook on life ever since.
I was around six when this event happened. Up until this point I was very fearful of the dark, and would worry if my sister wasn't sleeping with me at night (we shared a room).
One night I remember being woke up by the brightness in the room. It had a glorious brillance that filled even the tiniest crevices of the room. I slowly peered over the edge of the top of my bunk bed. Standing there was none other than Jesus! Stay with me here....I was VERY startled to see Jesus standing there, in my room! Startled does not actually even begin to describe how I felt. However, I wasn't scared. I felt this wave of love and peace wash over me. It was an indescribable feeling that comes back to me now as I am recounting this event. It is calming. It wipes any fears I ever had.
Yes, Jesus was in my room! It seems unbelievable, even to me, that I saw Jesus that night. I don't know if I physically saw Him or He came to me in a dream. But, to me that doesn't matter. He was there.
He came over to me picked me up and set me in His lap. I clung to Him, crying...no sobbbing. Sobbing with joy and overflowing with love for God's son that died for me and you. This man, that up until this point in my life, I had heard and read stories about. I had learned to believe from church and what my parents said about Him. I finally looked up at Him, but could not see His face--it was too brilliant. I begged Him to wake my sister up. I begged Him to let my parents see Him. I didn't understand why He would come to see me and not let the rest of my family experience Him and all His glory--experience this person that we put our complete faith and life in His hands on a daily basis. I begged him saying, "Please, I just want my parents to believe and see you! I know they do, but it's not fair they don't get to see you." He then said to me, "Bethany, my beautiful daughter and child, I came to see you. I know it doesn't seem fair that your parents and sister can't see you, but their faith will be tested in other ways." HE came to see ME.
I get the chills just recounting this story through type. He then said to me, "Bethany, I know you have been afraid of the dark. I came to tell you that there is nothing to fear. I am always here. I am just as present here in this room as I am now, even when you cannot see me. You never have to be afraid of anything again. I made you strong. I made you this way for a reason. You are my child and never doubt my love for you."
I was mesmerized to say the least. He said He had to leave, and again I tried to persuade Him to stay. He reminded me that He would still be here and I could talk to Him anytime I wanted. I walked him to the living room and watched Him vanish out the front door. I ran to the door, attempting to catch one last glimpse of His brilliance, but He was gone. However, I knew that He wasn't really gone and what I had encountered was rare and extraordinary. His light wasn't gone either. It was in me. I felt it. It coursed through me and I slept peacefully that night.
Over the years, as life has happened, I have experienced ups and downs like everyone else. However, I feel as though I do not let life defeat me because I have always known my life was in the palm of His hands. When my friends have been fearful of things and circumstances, I was never fearful. I did not realize until quite recently, when I was reminded of this encounter, how significantly that had impacted my life. Looking back, I realized I was never fearful of the dark again. I am also not fearful of anything except a snake catching me off guard :/. I have no doubt that I got see Him face to face for a reason--He is preparing me for big things. He has been preparing me for big things my whole life. I am not fearful of what's to come, I am excited to meet these challenged and triumphs head-on. This reminds me of a verse in Psalms 56:3-4:
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?"
We all are made for big things. Our experiences and encounters in life prepare us for what's to come. Do not fear. Prepare. Get ready to go to battle. Look at each day as a victory to be had. I have learned to do this and it has changed my perspective on life in magnificent ways.
<3 <3 <3
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Each new day is a gift.
The Lord blesses us all with different giftings and anointings. I have recently discovered that I have this ability to see others the way Jesus sees them. It's incredible. It helps me understand how others have a difficult time befriending and loving people that I am drawn to. I understand that it is not easy. I understand that sometimes I will befriend people that I have a difficult time being around. Nonetheless, in the back of my mind I see them how Christ sees them.
It is very enlightening to recently discover that over the years certain people I have come in contact with I have tried to "fix." I felt responsible for the state they were in, and instead of trusting God enough to take care of it, I thought I could. Haha, yes, you know how this story ends... I cannot fix anything. I cannot even fix myself. I don't know why I thought I could, but for some reason I saw these people in a different light. I saw them and created them (in my mind) into the person that I thought Jesus saw them as. I placed unrealistic expectations on them. I placed unrealistic expectations on myself at times, instead of just handing the reigns over to God to take care of me or my situation.
What a freeing realization. I am not in control of my life. My life and future are in the hands of someone that died for me. I am in the hands of someone who is the epitomy of love and grace. How captivating. How life-altering. How incredible.
Today I spoke with two of my professors about the equine minor they are trying to start at EKU. I am really excited about them getting this off the ground. They even suggested that I should get my OTD and come back and run the program--whoa. I have so many future visions and goals swirling in my head right now I can barely wrap my mind around them. However, it is exciting to see where this opportunity is headed and interestingly exciting to perhaps come back to EKU, a place I never envisioned returning...who knows. I have a feeling the next few years of my life aren't going to be at all what I expect.
I also talked with my professors about translating my credentials as an OT to international work, where I could possibly start a therapeutic riding program with women/children that have come from slavery/abuse. They said there is great potential and gave me several leads--I am just gushing with emotions right now about all that happened today.
Another wonderfully eventful day comes to a close...yoga and bed. :)
It is very enlightening to recently discover that over the years certain people I have come in contact with I have tried to "fix." I felt responsible for the state they were in, and instead of trusting God enough to take care of it, I thought I could. Haha, yes, you know how this story ends... I cannot fix anything. I cannot even fix myself. I don't know why I thought I could, but for some reason I saw these people in a different light. I saw them and created them (in my mind) into the person that I thought Jesus saw them as. I placed unrealistic expectations on them. I placed unrealistic expectations on myself at times, instead of just handing the reigns over to God to take care of me or my situation.
What a freeing realization. I am not in control of my life. My life and future are in the hands of someone that died for me. I am in the hands of someone who is the epitomy of love and grace. How captivating. How life-altering. How incredible.
Today I spoke with two of my professors about the equine minor they are trying to start at EKU. I am really excited about them getting this off the ground. They even suggested that I should get my OTD and come back and run the program--whoa. I have so many future visions and goals swirling in my head right now I can barely wrap my mind around them. However, it is exciting to see where this opportunity is headed and interestingly exciting to perhaps come back to EKU, a place I never envisioned returning...who knows. I have a feeling the next few years of my life aren't going to be at all what I expect.
I also talked with my professors about translating my credentials as an OT to international work, where I could possibly start a therapeutic riding program with women/children that have come from slavery/abuse. They said there is great potential and gave me several leads--I am just gushing with emotions right now about all that happened today.
Another wonderfully eventful day comes to a close...yoga and bed. :)
Monday, November 14, 2011
A Good Day.
Starless. Inky-blackness. Stormy sky. The perfect run. Yes, I just went on the most exhilarating run. It was peaceful, yet rejuvenating. The starless night sky hovered above with occasional storm clouds that would pass over, bringing a gentle cool breeze across my path. The air smelled fresh. It felt good to suck it into my lungs and then let it course through my muscles as I extended my stride and ran. I think this is what people who experience "runner's high" experience on a daily basis--I just experienced it. What a perfect end to a wonderful day.
Earlier this afternoon I met with a lady in my church, Denise, who has been discipling/mentoring me. We had a wonderful time of fellowship and I am looking forward to a few more of these before I pick up and leave 'good ole richmond.'
Spent some time at the coffee shop, reading Pride and Prejudice and crocheting, while Jordan did some homework. What a fab afternoon. I am glad I was able to spend some time with her. I sure have missed seeing her as frequently as I use to.
Yesterday, I had lunch with a couple from a church, of which I have attended off and on. It was neat to receive words of encouragement from them as I head off for six months to complete my level II fieldwork in Georgia and Florida--woo hoo! They also hooked me up with a church that I plan on checking out in Florida. It's amazing how this concern had been weighing heavily on my heart the past few weeks, but all doubts dissipated after chatting with them. What an answer to prayer. What is even more encouraging is that after talking to Denise today she suggested a few churches in Georgia, close to where I will be staying. Shoo wee God is good.
Tomorrow is my last day working with Alistair, and then he and his family leave for Taiwpa for two months. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent with him this semester, and am so thankful for the challenges and rewards that have come from this divine job opportunity! Regardless, I will miss my wittle man.
Off to bed for some much needed and desired shut-eye. <3
Earlier this afternoon I met with a lady in my church, Denise, who has been discipling/mentoring me. We had a wonderful time of fellowship and I am looking forward to a few more of these before I pick up and leave 'good ole richmond.'
Spent some time at the coffee shop, reading Pride and Prejudice and crocheting, while Jordan did some homework. What a fab afternoon. I am glad I was able to spend some time with her. I sure have missed seeing her as frequently as I use to.
Yesterday, I had lunch with a couple from a church, of which I have attended off and on. It was neat to receive words of encouragement from them as I head off for six months to complete my level II fieldwork in Georgia and Florida--woo hoo! They also hooked me up with a church that I plan on checking out in Florida. It's amazing how this concern had been weighing heavily on my heart the past few weeks, but all doubts dissipated after chatting with them. What an answer to prayer. What is even more encouraging is that after talking to Denise today she suggested a few churches in Georgia, close to where I will be staying. Shoo wee God is good.
Tomorrow is my last day working with Alistair, and then he and his family leave for Taiwpa for two months. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent with him this semester, and am so thankful for the challenges and rewards that have come from this divine job opportunity! Regardless, I will miss my wittle man.
Off to bed for some much needed and desired shut-eye. <3
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Changing tide
Lately, I have been pondering the idea of personalities and living with a joyful and peaceful spirit and heart. The Lord gave me this image of the sea. I saw the waves washing up on the shore throughout the day. I saw the way the water carried shells and other sea creatures onto the dry, sandy beach. I saw beauty, but I also saw power and rage. Other people viewing this scene may describe it in other ways, like viewing it through an alternate lense. I came to the realization that our lives can be lived through various lenses. We can choose to live like Christ, as outlined in scripture, or we can choose to let the world and circumstances around us cloud that lense. When thinking of how scripture outlines it I came upon these verses:
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word. Isaiah 66:2
My mom and I were discussing this, and the idea of how we often use our "personalities and labels" as a crutch. We make excuses to justify the way we act. For example, in my life I make the excuse that I have the tendency to have a fast tongue and be competitive. I can also be very prideful. Does this make those tendencies right in any situation?--definitely not. In no way does the Lord wish me to be this way with my friends and in my future family or in my personal time. What will dwelling on these thoughts or acting in these ways do for the Kingdom? Absolutely nothing. So often, I have seen those around me say, "Well that's just how I am. I like to complain. I have no reign on my tongue."
I want so much more than that. I want to chip away at those negative tendencies about myself, and glorify the Lord through the testimony of how He has changed me. I want to be continuously moldable and I want that molding to be evident. I want to "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:2
I want to strive towards becoming a Proverbs 31 woman everyday. I want challenges. I want to defeat the enemy's ploys. I want to love those around me more than myself on a continuous basis. I do not want to see the world and myself through a clouded lense, but I want to see beauty, color, and good deeds pouring forth through my faith.
Yay, for changing tides and for encounters with the Lord! Yay, for open eyes and am open heart!
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word. Isaiah 66:2
My mom and I were discussing this, and the idea of how we often use our "personalities and labels" as a crutch. We make excuses to justify the way we act. For example, in my life I make the excuse that I have the tendency to have a fast tongue and be competitive. I can also be very prideful. Does this make those tendencies right in any situation?--definitely not. In no way does the Lord wish me to be this way with my friends and in my future family or in my personal time. What will dwelling on these thoughts or acting in these ways do for the Kingdom? Absolutely nothing. So often, I have seen those around me say, "Well that's just how I am. I like to complain. I have no reign on my tongue."
I want so much more than that. I want to chip away at those negative tendencies about myself, and glorify the Lord through the testimony of how He has changed me. I want to be continuously moldable and I want that molding to be evident. I want to "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:2
I want to strive towards becoming a Proverbs 31 woman everyday. I want challenges. I want to defeat the enemy's ploys. I want to love those around me more than myself on a continuous basis. I do not want to see the world and myself through a clouded lense, but I want to see beauty, color, and good deeds pouring forth through my faith.
Yay, for changing tides and for encounters with the Lord! Yay, for open eyes and am open heart!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Enthralled
I am just increasingly enthralled by the Lord's magnificence and beauty everyday. My heart is literally swelling right now as I think of the power and anointing He has placed on my life. He has ordered every one of my steps up until this point, and I just never want to stop soaking in His glory.
Every week I add several things to my bucket list. Every week I develop a new idea or set a new goal/vision for myself, which usually entails saving some part of the world. This week that vision was inspired through watching a video on sex trafficking and the impact it has on these women's lives. It is truly heart-breaking to me to imagine myself in their shoes. After watching this video, I desired to go work at this sex trafficking hub that this organization has setup in Greece to rescue women from this "nightmare". I envision myself using my skills and abilities as an OT and as a women who seeks to follow Christ daily to help break the chains of bondage and despair this sick business has left these women feeling utterly worthless and hopeless in. Feeling hopeless is the worst feeling, and something our wonderful heavenly Father never wants us to feel. This vision is just oozing out of my heart and soul and so I am going to pray really hard that God either directs me there in the future or sends someone else to fulfill this vision. Right now I seek His face, finish my last five week of school, six months of fieldwork, and let God lead me where he sees fit.
I love witnessing the life He has planned for me unfold each day. Yippy!
Every week I add several things to my bucket list. Every week I develop a new idea or set a new goal/vision for myself, which usually entails saving some part of the world. This week that vision was inspired through watching a video on sex trafficking and the impact it has on these women's lives. It is truly heart-breaking to me to imagine myself in their shoes. After watching this video, I desired to go work at this sex trafficking hub that this organization has setup in Greece to rescue women from this "nightmare". I envision myself using my skills and abilities as an OT and as a women who seeks to follow Christ daily to help break the chains of bondage and despair this sick business has left these women feeling utterly worthless and hopeless in. Feeling hopeless is the worst feeling, and something our wonderful heavenly Father never wants us to feel. This vision is just oozing out of my heart and soul and so I am going to pray really hard that God either directs me there in the future or sends someone else to fulfill this vision. Right now I seek His face, finish my last five week of school, six months of fieldwork, and let God lead me where he sees fit.
I love witnessing the life He has planned for me unfold each day. Yippy!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Oh LoVe...
This topic of "falling in love" and "love" that continuously circulates conversations and is at the center of people's minds (even this blog right now)has been a pressing issue on my heart. I don't understand why so many people and especially our culture are always vying to gain someone's approval, attention, and ultimately their love. Don't get me wrong--I have fallen into this same trap, but am so thankful the Lord was watching out for me. We have become a society obsessed with trying to "fall in love" and get married, or just date someone. For Christians, why is our energy being wasted on these extravagant thoughts and endeavors when the Lord has our lives and everything in them under control (yes, even our love lives). Can we not be content to just pursue the Lord with that passion until He decides to drop that person into our lives at exactly the right moment, when we are exactly the person we have allowed God to cultivate us into in the meantime?
I owe everything to the Lord and my Mom--my faith and belief that the Lord's great providence is upon my life and He knows that man that He has designed for me--or maybe I am called to serve the Lord on my own for the rest of my life. Yes, constantly when I was growing up my mom encouraged me, uplifted me, instilled in me a heart to serve others and love the Lord. She prayed for me--yes, I know she spent many countless nights bathing me in prayer, and for that I am forever grateful. She led by example and showed me how to be strong and love everyone around me--yes, she demonstrated how to love those that others did not love. She instilled in me a healthy strength, and that was to know the Lord had my life in the palm of His hands and that no earthly man could ever fulfill me. She taught me that one day a man of God will enhance me and not hinder or convolute my walk with my Saviour. I was blessed to have a mother such as mine. She taught me that prayer is the best gift you can give your children. She has instilled in me a confidence that the world tries to tear down, but cannot break because the Lord is the center and fortress of my life. For this confidence I am forever grateful.
Thank you Lord for my family and friends and this God-given confidence to know that you have each of us in the palm of your hands! Let us not be swayed by worldy-temptations and vain imaginations of what love is. God is Love. <3
I owe everything to the Lord and my Mom--my faith and belief that the Lord's great providence is upon my life and He knows that man that He has designed for me--or maybe I am called to serve the Lord on my own for the rest of my life. Yes, constantly when I was growing up my mom encouraged me, uplifted me, instilled in me a heart to serve others and love the Lord. She prayed for me--yes, I know she spent many countless nights bathing me in prayer, and for that I am forever grateful. She led by example and showed me how to be strong and love everyone around me--yes, she demonstrated how to love those that others did not love. She instilled in me a healthy strength, and that was to know the Lord had my life in the palm of His hands and that no earthly man could ever fulfill me. She taught me that one day a man of God will enhance me and not hinder or convolute my walk with my Saviour. I was blessed to have a mother such as mine. She taught me that prayer is the best gift you can give your children. She has instilled in me a confidence that the world tries to tear down, but cannot break because the Lord is the center and fortress of my life. For this confidence I am forever grateful.
Thank you Lord for my family and friends and this God-given confidence to know that you have each of us in the palm of your hands! Let us not be swayed by worldy-temptations and vain imaginations of what love is. God is Love. <3
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Balance
“The LORD preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me.” Psalm 116:6
The following is a blog a read by Gwen Smith that really spoke to my soul this morning. She said,"I wish it weren’t the case, but it is. I get easily distracted and frazzled. I never seem to satisfy my to-do list and I struggle with time management. It surprises me continually that God would choose to use a cluttered woman such as me. But His grace abounds. It reaches my most unfocused, unproductive heart places. Grace covers my mess and uncovers His faithfulness.
God’s loving goodness constantly draws me back to His peace.
Oh, how I want to live life in simple grace. To listen intently to the heartbeat of God and respond with love and a twinkling nod. I want my love for Him to always be uncluttered."
What a beautiful truth, and she spoke it just as I feel it. I need balance. I once was so organized and structured, but disregarded those around me and placed emphasis on things that are not as important in life. Now I am all over the place, care about people enough to do something about it, and take time to do things that I would not have done before. If I was just a little more organized and motivated with school I could get so much more accomplished.
This is my prayer as the semester comes to a close...
The following is a blog a read by Gwen Smith that really spoke to my soul this morning. She said,"I wish it weren’t the case, but it is. I get easily distracted and frazzled. I never seem to satisfy my to-do list and I struggle with time management. It surprises me continually that God would choose to use a cluttered woman such as me. But His grace abounds. It reaches my most unfocused, unproductive heart places. Grace covers my mess and uncovers His faithfulness.
God’s loving goodness constantly draws me back to His peace.
Oh, how I want to live life in simple grace. To listen intently to the heartbeat of God and respond with love and a twinkling nod. I want my love for Him to always be uncluttered."
What a beautiful truth, and she spoke it just as I feel it. I need balance. I once was so organized and structured, but disregarded those around me and placed emphasis on things that are not as important in life. Now I am all over the place, care about people enough to do something about it, and take time to do things that I would not have done before. If I was just a little more organized and motivated with school I could get so much more accomplished.
This is my prayer as the semester comes to a close...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Futurama
I have been thinking about the future lately. Specifically, what the Lord's plan for my life is. I want to do so much.
Hippotherapy.... Have a little studio apartment in a big city with a golden retriever.... Live in the country with a wrap-around porch and a huge swing in a big oak tree....Live with my best friend in Minnesota.... Travel the world as an OT.... Change the U.S.A's education system....Live in a hut in Africa.... Backpack Europe....Take in an international college student....Love the people around me everyday....
Some of these will take more time to accomplish than others. But, that is not the issue. I am praying that the Lord reveals His plan for life, slowly and surely. I trust He will, I just have been impatient lately.
"Lord, give me patience to wait for your plan and let you reveal the blessings in my life to me in your timing."
I already feel better writing this down...something so therapeutic about collecting your thoughts that are always swirling in your head...atleast it is for me. :)
Thank you heavenly Father for growing me and shaping me everyday and giving me the strength to wait. The strength to wait for how you want me to use OT as my life ministry, that you have so graciously led me to.
<3
Hippotherapy.... Have a little studio apartment in a big city with a golden retriever.... Live in the country with a wrap-around porch and a huge swing in a big oak tree....Live with my best friend in Minnesota.... Travel the world as an OT.... Change the U.S.A's education system....Live in a hut in Africa.... Backpack Europe....Take in an international college student....Love the people around me everyday....
Some of these will take more time to accomplish than others. But, that is not the issue. I am praying that the Lord reveals His plan for life, slowly and surely. I trust He will, I just have been impatient lately.
"Lord, give me patience to wait for your plan and let you reveal the blessings in my life to me in your timing."
I already feel better writing this down...something so therapeutic about collecting your thoughts that are always swirling in your head...atleast it is for me. :)
Thank you heavenly Father for growing me and shaping me everyday and giving me the strength to wait. The strength to wait for how you want me to use OT as my life ministry, that you have so graciously led me to.
<3
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Pruning Process
"He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:2
After meditating on this verse, the Lord showed me that often the things we do not understand in life are because He is pruning us. Do you need pruning? Do you feel useless or feel like you could give more of yourself? Do you wish to bear more fruit?
Well...the more we allow to God to prune us through His discipline and timing, the more we are saying "yes" to what He wants for our lives. Through saying "yes," we will experience more and more of the goodness, mercy, and compassion God wants us to pour out onto others for His kingdom! Yes, that means, the more we are pruned, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it may seem at the time, the more fruit we will begin to bear and see to fruition in our lives. When we allow this process to take place and watch God transform us, and then allow ourselves to be used, we begin this whirlwind of emotions that I cannot begin to explain. He gives us unspeakable joy and fulfillment, because He becomes our fulfillment. He also gives us peace in every situation. Though we may experience thorns throughout the pruning process, those thorns are part of who we become in the Lord because we are allowing Him to heal the wounds that those thorns caused.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23-24
I pray this for my life as well as yours. I pray that you would allow God to break down every barrier and stronghold in your life. I pray that you would not worry about tomorrow, but live for today and all that He has given us TODAY. I pray that you would come to the realization that as long as we are seeking the Lord with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength, that we do not have to worry about what the enemy will throw at us, or even who we will become.
I use to worry about being a good friend, an honorable daughter, a respectful future wife, and a devoted mother, but the Lord broke those vain imaginations of what I thought those things looked like that I had built in my mind. The Lord has since showed me that loving and following him with reckless abandonment is all He calls me to do, and through doing so I will possess those skills and godly qualities automatically. I will trust God to instill in me wisdom and patience when it comes to cultivating these qualities, and through meditating on His Word I will be pruned continually, and ever-growing and learning in His ways!
What an amazing adventure He will bring to your life if you allow it!
After meditating on this verse, the Lord showed me that often the things we do not understand in life are because He is pruning us. Do you need pruning? Do you feel useless or feel like you could give more of yourself? Do you wish to bear more fruit?
Well...the more we allow to God to prune us through His discipline and timing, the more we are saying "yes" to what He wants for our lives. Through saying "yes," we will experience more and more of the goodness, mercy, and compassion God wants us to pour out onto others for His kingdom! Yes, that means, the more we are pruned, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it may seem at the time, the more fruit we will begin to bear and see to fruition in our lives. When we allow this process to take place and watch God transform us, and then allow ourselves to be used, we begin this whirlwind of emotions that I cannot begin to explain. He gives us unspeakable joy and fulfillment, because He becomes our fulfillment. He also gives us peace in every situation. Though we may experience thorns throughout the pruning process, those thorns are part of who we become in the Lord because we are allowing Him to heal the wounds that those thorns caused.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23-24
I pray this for my life as well as yours. I pray that you would allow God to break down every barrier and stronghold in your life. I pray that you would not worry about tomorrow, but live for today and all that He has given us TODAY. I pray that you would come to the realization that as long as we are seeking the Lord with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength, that we do not have to worry about what the enemy will throw at us, or even who we will become.
I use to worry about being a good friend, an honorable daughter, a respectful future wife, and a devoted mother, but the Lord broke those vain imaginations of what I thought those things looked like that I had built in my mind. The Lord has since showed me that loving and following him with reckless abandonment is all He calls me to do, and through doing so I will possess those skills and godly qualities automatically. I will trust God to instill in me wisdom and patience when it comes to cultivating these qualities, and through meditating on His Word I will be pruned continually, and ever-growing and learning in His ways!
What an amazing adventure He will bring to your life if you allow it!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Dripping Mercy
I have been convicted and blessed to be in a study where we are talking about Mercy, Justice, and Compassion. Mercy is one of my spiritual gifts, so it has been insightful for me to get into scripture that talks more about this challenging and transforming concept of "mercy." Janice Wood says, "God's delay in justice is an example of His mercy. He has not forgotten. He is not letting sin go unpunished. It is His desire to gather more for the Kingdom. He is allowing opportunity for more to come to Him." Praise the Lord for that.
After reflecting over this week's study I felt a tug at my heart. My pride is a large barrier that often gets in the way of me bestowing true mercy and compassion towards others. I use to see this concept of "mercy" as weakness, but the more I see Christ and reflect on scripture the more I am beginning to witness that it is strengthening us through the process. I hate me pride which drips selfishness. Just as of late, through allowing the Lord to take my life and future into His hands and surrendering these things daily to Him, He is breaking these strongholds in my life. I am truly gaining a heart that breaks for what breaks His and am learning that it is not weakness, but is Him merely shaping me into a woman after His heart more and more every day. And the more I taste His presence and Holy Spirit, the more I want to surrender to Him.
Surrender wholly.
Let Him wrap every part of His being and divine spirit around my weaknesses.
Know Him deeper and deeper.
Drink in His love and goodness and discipline.
This process not only takes God wrecking your life (in an astounding way), but takes you trusting Him to rebuild every area of your life that He sees fit, and allowing Him to shape you through continuous prayer and scripture.
Imagine what a life of gleaning from His Mercy and Grace would look like. And then, even more amazing--what a life that overflows with Mercy and Grace to those around us looks like.
Transformed. Anointed. Redeemed. Wow.
After reflecting over this week's study I felt a tug at my heart. My pride is a large barrier that often gets in the way of me bestowing true mercy and compassion towards others. I use to see this concept of "mercy" as weakness, but the more I see Christ and reflect on scripture the more I am beginning to witness that it is strengthening us through the process. I hate me pride which drips selfishness. Just as of late, through allowing the Lord to take my life and future into His hands and surrendering these things daily to Him, He is breaking these strongholds in my life. I am truly gaining a heart that breaks for what breaks His and am learning that it is not weakness, but is Him merely shaping me into a woman after His heart more and more every day. And the more I taste His presence and Holy Spirit, the more I want to surrender to Him.
Surrender wholly.
Let Him wrap every part of His being and divine spirit around my weaknesses.
Know Him deeper and deeper.
Drink in His love and goodness and discipline.
This process not only takes God wrecking your life (in an astounding way), but takes you trusting Him to rebuild every area of your life that He sees fit, and allowing Him to shape you through continuous prayer and scripture.
Imagine what a life of gleaning from His Mercy and Grace would look like. And then, even more amazing--what a life that overflows with Mercy and Grace to those around us looks like.
Transformed. Anointed. Redeemed. Wow.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Speechless
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26
I have witnessed this truth in my life time and time again. Often, we get so bogged down, so overwhelmed with life's stressers and frustrations that we just wilt in the Lord's presence. We are thirsty, so thirsty, but cannot begin to explain to the Lord what we need. Guess what?? He already knows! He knows how much we can handle and sometimes we must break before He can begin to mold and shape us and then unfold His glorious plan for our life out before us. How encouraging, how beautiful, and how sovereign is His might and power and spirit in our lives if we allow it.
When I was praying in the car ride home today He revealed this verse to me. I was tired and grumpy and didn't think He could speak to me anymore today--whelp He did. :) He showed me that when I feel weak and exhausted I can lay my burdens before Him and He will care for me--not only care, but "intercede with groans that words cannot express!" Wow, pretty powerful. Pretty awesome is My God!
I have witnessed this truth in my life time and time again. Often, we get so bogged down, so overwhelmed with life's stressers and frustrations that we just wilt in the Lord's presence. We are thirsty, so thirsty, but cannot begin to explain to the Lord what we need. Guess what?? He already knows! He knows how much we can handle and sometimes we must break before He can begin to mold and shape us and then unfold His glorious plan for our life out before us. How encouraging, how beautiful, and how sovereign is His might and power and spirit in our lives if we allow it.
When I was praying in the car ride home today He revealed this verse to me. I was tired and grumpy and didn't think He could speak to me anymore today--whelp He did. :) He showed me that when I feel weak and exhausted I can lay my burdens before Him and He will care for me--not only care, but "intercede with groans that words cannot express!" Wow, pretty powerful. Pretty awesome is My God!
Monday, September 19, 2011
He Knows Us
** Psalm 139:13-18 **
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
This verse just shows me the intensity and love that God displays for us, and wants us to see in ourselves. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made!" What a powerful, encouraging, and uplifting testimony that our Father wishes us to embrace. His works are beyond our intelligence and His power and wonder should be continually praised and shared with others. He never leaves or forsakes us. He delights in us. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. Just be sure to remember that His desires become greater than any of our desires when we fully accept His power and the Holy Spirit in our hearts and on our lives. Praise Jesus for that!
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
This verse just shows me the intensity and love that God displays for us, and wants us to see in ourselves. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made!" What a powerful, encouraging, and uplifting testimony that our Father wishes us to embrace. His works are beyond our intelligence and His power and wonder should be continually praised and shared with others. He never leaves or forsakes us. He delights in us. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. Just be sure to remember that His desires become greater than any of our desires when we fully accept His power and the Holy Spirit in our hearts and on our lives. Praise Jesus for that!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
"Break my heart for what breaks yours,
everything I am for Your Kingdom Lord,
show me how to love like YOU have loved ME."
-Hillsong
Joy, unending joy. This is truly what I experience everyday. I cannot explain to you the way the Lord allows me to feel His power and love wrapping around my heart everyday. Sometimes this joy is so overpowering I forget to breath and it is like I am coming up for air from being underwater. It isn't scary though. Oddly, it is comforting.
Joyful.
Exhilarating.
I want more.
These are the only few words that can even begin to unravel the way the Lord has changed my heart and life and what that change has felt and meant to me in the process.
I wish everyone could experience our Father like this. You never want to leave and never want to stop basking in His presence. I pray I never lose this feeling, and especially this desire to seek after our Father with all my heart.
"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."
<3 1 Cor. 15:58
everything I am for Your Kingdom Lord,
show me how to love like YOU have loved ME."
-Hillsong
Joy, unending joy. This is truly what I experience everyday. I cannot explain to you the way the Lord allows me to feel His power and love wrapping around my heart everyday. Sometimes this joy is so overpowering I forget to breath and it is like I am coming up for air from being underwater. It isn't scary though. Oddly, it is comforting.
Joyful.
Exhilarating.
I want more.
These are the only few words that can even begin to unravel the way the Lord has changed my heart and life and what that change has felt and meant to me in the process.
I wish everyone could experience our Father like this. You never want to leave and never want to stop basking in His presence. I pray I never lose this feeling, and especially this desire to seek after our Father with all my heart.
"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."
<3 1 Cor. 15:58
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Jehovah Jireh
My heart is aching for those children left dying in the streets. My heart is aching that I cannot give a home and love to each of those orphans with scabies and gaping wounds on their skin due to improper nutrition and conditions. My heart is aching for each of those children that do not feel loved or accepted by anyone. My heart is aching for those 60% of girls that will grow up to live a life of prostitution in Russia. It aches for those 70% of orphan boys in Russia who will end up in jail or prison. My heart aches for those hurting. But, it mostly aches because I feel like I can never do enough. I feel as though I am on the sidelines watching, but it is not my time to enter the game. The Lord has called me to wait, while in the process, I sit on the sidelines and pray....pray and fast for those children that I cannot physically come in contact with and help. The peace He has given me with through this struggle is that He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord our provider, and He has called other people to spread their resources and abilities and touch these children's lives. And in the process, He has called me to pour my heart into prayer for the world and what He will call me into in the future.
The problem is, where are they? Where are we when these children are suffering and have no place to lay their heads? Are we truly listening and trusting God with our lives? Are we trusting He will provide for us, when we pray and trust He will provide that orphan with a meal the next day? It is a challenge for me to hear my own words when I know one day I will be called to take a huge step of faith, trust God with my life in another country, and go to bather open wounds and help a feeble child raise its spoon to it mouth. I am excited for that day though. I am pumped for the opportunity to witness pain that many people will not ever witness in their lifetime. But, I am most ecstatic about witnessing the look on a child's face that shows they have felt God's love through me, a look that shows they know what it is to be loved by our heavenly Father--it is unlike any other feeling, and it is the only hope and love that can truly change a life.
The problem is, where are they? Where are we when these children are suffering and have no place to lay their heads? Are we truly listening and trusting God with our lives? Are we trusting He will provide for us, when we pray and trust He will provide that orphan with a meal the next day? It is a challenge for me to hear my own words when I know one day I will be called to take a huge step of faith, trust God with my life in another country, and go to bather open wounds and help a feeble child raise its spoon to it mouth. I am excited for that day though. I am pumped for the opportunity to witness pain that many people will not ever witness in their lifetime. But, I am most ecstatic about witnessing the look on a child's face that shows they have felt God's love through me, a look that shows they know what it is to be loved by our heavenly Father--it is unlike any other feeling, and it is the only hope and love that can truly change a life.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Steadfast
"As gentle a man as he was, as tender as was his heart, there was nothing weak about Michael Hosea. He was the strongest-minded man Joseph had ever met. A Man like Noah. A Man like the Shepherd-king David. A man after God's own heart." (Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers)
In order to reach and serve people we must hold steadfast to concept of being a "man or woman" after God's own heart. This exerpt from the brilliantly written book, Redeeming Love, opens my eyes to the person I want to be--compassionate, with a strength that cannot be broken by the world and circumstances.
Women, I would highly, highly recommend reading the book Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George. It has a beautiful and glorifying breakdown of the women we can be and how we can serve the Lord to our full potential through guidance of the Proverbs 31 chapter in the Bible. We have so much potential to reach and serve others around us if we can just open our eyes and hearts to all the Lord has in store for us. If we can break down barriers that are daily set before us and transform our minds for the renewing of our spirits we have the ability to impact so many people! If you keep that in mind and surrender your life and your plans daily to the Lord you will find peace, contentment, and joy beyond anything you could imagine.
In order to reach and serve people we must hold steadfast to concept of being a "man or woman" after God's own heart. This exerpt from the brilliantly written book, Redeeming Love, opens my eyes to the person I want to be--compassionate, with a strength that cannot be broken by the world and circumstances.
Women, I would highly, highly recommend reading the book Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George. It has a beautiful and glorifying breakdown of the women we can be and how we can serve the Lord to our full potential through guidance of the Proverbs 31 chapter in the Bible. We have so much potential to reach and serve others around us if we can just open our eyes and hearts to all the Lord has in store for us. If we can break down barriers that are daily set before us and transform our minds for the renewing of our spirits we have the ability to impact so many people! If you keep that in mind and surrender your life and your plans daily to the Lord you will find peace, contentment, and joy beyond anything you could imagine.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Beloved
Lyrics by Tenth Avenue North
Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
Give Me your life
The lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from Me (yeah)
You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It's a mystery
Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the Giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh, come running home to Me (yeah now)
You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
and it binds you to Me (yeah now, now)
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Well, you've been a mistress, My wife
Chasing lovers that won't satisfy
Won't you let Me make you My bride
You will drink of My lips
And you'll taste new life
You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It's a mystery
Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
Give Me your life
The lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from Me (yeah)
You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It's a mystery
Love of My life
Look deep in My eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the Giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh, come running home to Me (yeah now)
You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
and it binds you to Me (yeah now, now)
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Well, you've been a mistress, My wife
Chasing lovers that won't satisfy
Won't you let Me make you My bride
You will drink of My lips
And you'll taste new life
You're My beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
My Love it unites us
And it binds you to Me
It's a mystery
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Quirky quote *@*
For Single Ladies: Quick Bible Lesson...In the Bible, Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, Please don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Downlowaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, or Marriedaz! And Especially his third cousin, Beatingyoaz. PLEASE....wait on your Boaz, and make sure HE respects Yoaz!!!
Pahahabahaha so cute...
Pahahabahaha so cute...
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wait...
A beautiful and endearing poem that I recently read on Facebook. I hope that is brings a smile and joy to your life like it did mine. :)
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
Friday, July 22, 2011
Adonai
Adonai can mean "our Lord," "Master," or "Father." This word can also be used when referring to men or angels, but in the old testament it was frequently used in reference to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is amazing the way our heavenly Father treats us, and instead of dispelling the punishment we rightly deserve for bringing upon ourselves sin and hurt He uses the opportunities to mold us and discipline us, so we never experience that hurt again. The Lord may also ask things of us in order to challenge us and grow us and these things come when we seek Him with all of our heart. Beth Moore discusses that often God will say, "sit right there child and watch me work." Other times He may say, "Stay out of this because I must do this on my own." Still other times He says, "I need you to will your sword a little bit," or He may even ask us to "Step into the middle of a raging battle and drop all of our defenses and wholely and completely trust Him." When He asks this of us, it will be the most difficult thing you have ever faced, but if you trust Him enough to give the battle and place your life completely in His hands He will never let you down and you will witness His power in such a mighty way that you will never be the same again!
In Joshua 10, Joshua and the Israelites are called to fight a war that was not their own, but they trusted God completely and His glory was displayed for all to see. During this war, Joshua asks God to have the Sun stay still so they could finish the battle, and in the only time in history God made the sun stand still for twelve hours in the middle of the sky--incredible! This also makes me realize that God wants us to ask for amazing things, things that we think could never come true. He may chuckle sometimes and then just respond with, "Oh Child, I have so much greater things in store for you, just wait!. Regardless, He is Adonai and will always take care of us. Do not ever think you are too lost, too damaged, to weak, or too burdened to where you cannot come to His feet and lay everything before Him and watch Him work in you, because He will!
In Joshua 10, Joshua and the Israelites are called to fight a war that was not their own, but they trusted God completely and His glory was displayed for all to see. During this war, Joshua asks God to have the Sun stay still so they could finish the battle, and in the only time in history God made the sun stand still for twelve hours in the middle of the sky--incredible! This also makes me realize that God wants us to ask for amazing things, things that we think could never come true. He may chuckle sometimes and then just respond with, "Oh Child, I have so much greater things in store for you, just wait!. Regardless, He is Adonai and will always take care of us. Do not ever think you are too lost, too damaged, to weak, or too burdened to where you cannot come to His feet and lay everything before Him and watch Him work in you, because He will!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Apathy and fear have no place here...
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart is also." -Matt. 6:19
Tonight I stopped by Hastings coffee shop to decompress with a spice chai latte and a meaningless book. Instead, the Lord allowed me to run into three young men, whom I struck up a wonderful conversation about the abomidable nature of the "christian church" and "christians" in general. We were all sadened by the apathy and fear that hold so many believers back from pursuing the Lord with all they have. I recently found myself in this position, where I thought I was content to remain at "basecamp" instead of climbing to the "summit" to experience all the Lord has to offer me and bless me with. The Lord wants us all to experience the "summit," but so often we look ahead and become apathetic or fearful about pushing through the challenges that often come with meeting the Lord at the top and becoming overwhelmingly blessed through the process. We also miss out on experiencing all the beauty and opportunities He has for us when we do not meet Him at the peak.
The whole chapter 6 in the book of Matthew speaks to us about actively living out our Christian faith. We should not only verbally talk about it, but people should see our love for Christ overflowing in all we do. So many "Christians," myself included, often times find themselves in this slump I like to call apathy and/or fear. But the Bible, clearly states that the Lord did not want us to be fearful and apathetic, but ever pushing forward and continuously seeking Him with a strength we will begin to experience when we do this (2 Tim. 1:7). Be encouraged by the fact that God never leaves you and His presence is never out of reach--it is our responsibility and free will to challenge ourselves daily to live for Him with all we have and in the meantime meet Him at the peak instead of remaining at the base of the mountain along with all the others who are faced with apathy or fear. He has so much more for our lives and wants us all to experience the wonder and fulfillment we will find when we serve our purpose and vision He wants to direct us in!
Much much love!
Tonight I stopped by Hastings coffee shop to decompress with a spice chai latte and a meaningless book. Instead, the Lord allowed me to run into three young men, whom I struck up a wonderful conversation about the abomidable nature of the "christian church" and "christians" in general. We were all sadened by the apathy and fear that hold so many believers back from pursuing the Lord with all they have. I recently found myself in this position, where I thought I was content to remain at "basecamp" instead of climbing to the "summit" to experience all the Lord has to offer me and bless me with. The Lord wants us all to experience the "summit," but so often we look ahead and become apathetic or fearful about pushing through the challenges that often come with meeting the Lord at the top and becoming overwhelmingly blessed through the process. We also miss out on experiencing all the beauty and opportunities He has for us when we do not meet Him at the peak.
The whole chapter 6 in the book of Matthew speaks to us about actively living out our Christian faith. We should not only verbally talk about it, but people should see our love for Christ overflowing in all we do. So many "Christians," myself included, often times find themselves in this slump I like to call apathy and/or fear. But the Bible, clearly states that the Lord did not want us to be fearful and apathetic, but ever pushing forward and continuously seeking Him with a strength we will begin to experience when we do this (2 Tim. 1:7). Be encouraged by the fact that God never leaves you and His presence is never out of reach--it is our responsibility and free will to challenge ourselves daily to live for Him with all we have and in the meantime meet Him at the peak instead of remaining at the base of the mountain along with all the others who are faced with apathy or fear. He has so much more for our lives and wants us all to experience the wonder and fulfillment we will find when we serve our purpose and vision He wants to direct us in!
Much much love!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Faithfulness
The Lord is faithful, and hopefully you will begin to see this through my blogs and how He hs transformed and redeemed my life in the matter of days. Today (or I suppose, yesterday now), I had the most wonderful time with my best friend, Jordy, decorating for VBS at her church. I am so happy to see the work God is doing in and through her and her husband, Robert, at this church. I also watched my new favorite movie, Transformers 3, with my friend Megan who I have not had the chance to hang out with as of late. It was nice to hang out with my friends and just spend a nice and productive day in good company. "The Lord is great and greatly to be praised!" So exhausted and ready for some shut-eye now. :)
Much love,
Your sister in Christ
Much love,
Your sister in Christ
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Belief
I just heard the most wonderful, convicting, and faith-induced talk with Beth Moore (what an incredibly anointed and gifted woman, who practices what she preaches). The beauty of it all is that we can all live a life that is as fulfilling as hers.
Jesus Christ wants each and every one of us to experience the hope, encouragement, and fulfillment through using our giftings for His glory every waking moment. However, in order for us to do this we must embrace a faith-induced obedience. This means that when we reach the point of unbelief in life we have the choice to disobey God's calling and plan for our life (it may be fearful and not as enticing and I have done this a thousand times over) or we can step into the promised land He has for each of us and re-characterize ourselves by taking a step of faith and believing He will carry us through and do what He says He has promised (Joshua 4:19-5:12). When we take this step of faith, between unbelief and disobedience, we will no longer allow shame have a hold of you. We also will not allow that shame of our old reputation pull us down any longer (we are a new creation).
Just like the Israelites (In Joshua) were brought full circle by God in Gilgal (circle), they allowed him to break their old cycle and thus they inherited all God promised them. The more insight we can gain from which point our cycles go wrong every time, the more we can reverse that cycle.
For me, I compromise my standards and values in every relationship. I tell myself I will not date someone who will not be the head and the spiritual leader. However, everytime, I fall into this cycle of believing I can help and fix the guy I am dating in becoming the man of God I know he can be. There are several problems with this scenario....I intitally am not trusting God to do that work in that guy, I am being sucked under by trying to keep myself and my boyfriend spiritually grounded, and I compromise other values in the meantime (thinking that may fix the problem). Now that I have identified this bad cycle, I must work on reversing it, in order to demonstrate faith in my Lord Almighty and to receive all He has promised me.
We must not become enslaved by unbelief and failure like the Egyptians, and like the enemy is constantly trying to bring upon us. "Often a wounding precedes our full reception of God's promises, but healing always follows (Beth Moore, Belief series)!!!" We must stop being victims of our shame and the entanglement that the enemy brings. Prevailing belief always leads to the promised land, where we will naturally learn how to use our giftings and love for the glory of God!
Children's Beauty
Camp Cardinal Hill was so fun today and reminded me of how much I love children and why I am going to be an OT. Also, I am excited about having my own kids one day to invest in and be an example to (crazy how many areas of my life I have really witnessed God's tranformation in)! Children are really the essence of naivity and innocence, but even still, their sin nature comes creeping in at times, and I am reminded of why, even they, need Jesus in their life. Cannot wait for another day tomorrow with these beautiful children who lift my spirits so much!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Contentment
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13
My best friend, Jordan Delaney, reminded me of this beautiful and heart-lifting verse today. God is so so sooooooooo faithful!! Today I desired to get back into yoga and prayed that God would encourage me to do so. Just hours later, Mary Alice tected me suggesting we should go to Hot Yoga after Jazzercise--what an answer to prayer and what amzing friends God has placed in my life! I think I burned around 1500 calories, and sweated everything out of my body in 2 1/2 hours of pure conditioning. It felt good! It felt good to feel again, and witness such a quick answer to prayer. The endorphins probably helped a little as well. :)
Keep pressing onward! Don't lose sight of why were are here on earth and do not forget to focus on others and love them in the process! The more you focus on other people, the less you are able to pout about your own life and dwell on your hurt, which will only cater to the enemy's schemes.
Love, love, love! :) And HOPE!
My best friend, Jordan Delaney, reminded me of this beautiful and heart-lifting verse today. God is so so sooooooooo faithful!! Today I desired to get back into yoga and prayed that God would encourage me to do so. Just hours later, Mary Alice tected me suggesting we should go to Hot Yoga after Jazzercise--what an answer to prayer and what amzing friends God has placed in my life! I think I burned around 1500 calories, and sweated everything out of my body in 2 1/2 hours of pure conditioning. It felt good! It felt good to feel again, and witness such a quick answer to prayer. The endorphins probably helped a little as well. :)
Keep pressing onward! Don't lose sight of why were are here on earth and do not forget to focus on others and love them in the process! The more you focus on other people, the less you are able to pout about your own life and dwell on your hurt, which will only cater to the enemy's schemes.
Love, love, love! :) And HOPE!
Friends & Family
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion FOREVER!" ~Psalm 73:26
Friends and family are just a few of the many blessings the Lord has placed for us here on earth. Ladies, boyfriends are incredible, but you must be careful to not let yourself be vulnerable, because then the hurt that comes with losing that guy who was your best friend is something you will never forget. Yes, you can be healed, but the memories take a LONG LONG time to ever forget. Guard your heart ladies, and save it for the Lord, and that incredible, and I mean INCREDIBLE, man of God has planned for you in HIS TIME. It is hard to believe it at this moment in time, but we must begin by professing positivity and the Lord's blessings upon our lives, because only then will we begin to believe them.
Now, back to friends and family. It is incredible how the Lord places people strategically in your lives at the right moment. When you begin to feel lonely friends come along who you did not even realize you had missed so much--what a blessing! :) Family....Family is the encouragement God wanted to give us here on earth. Now are families dysfunctional? Of course. Are some families broken and in desperate need of the grace and love of Jesus? Most definitely. I know mine is. However, the beauty that comes with hurt and despair in one family member's life becomes felt by the whole family. And guess what? This moment and pain in one family member's life can bring the whole family together and show them things about themselves that they were not ready to changes before.
I was always praying for my family. Praying direction and faith in their lives, and guess what? Through my pain they are beginning to find this. They have hope, we have been praying for guidance and direction as a family, and my wonderful Dad is finally beginning to see the amazing things God has ordained him to do. Wow, so exciting! Also, through this pain, I am beginning to shed light on my giftings and have begun to use those giftings to bless other people around me. Yes, I still have plenty of moments of weaknesses where I just want to give up, but with the love and strength God has given me and the people He is strategically placing in my life I am pulled through the mire and stand firm on their hope and faith as well as my own (Rom. 1:12).
Thank you my wonderful Father!
Friends and family are just a few of the many blessings the Lord has placed for us here on earth. Ladies, boyfriends are incredible, but you must be careful to not let yourself be vulnerable, because then the hurt that comes with losing that guy who was your best friend is something you will never forget. Yes, you can be healed, but the memories take a LONG LONG time to ever forget. Guard your heart ladies, and save it for the Lord, and that incredible, and I mean INCREDIBLE, man of God has planned for you in HIS TIME. It is hard to believe it at this moment in time, but we must begin by professing positivity and the Lord's blessings upon our lives, because only then will we begin to believe them.
Now, back to friends and family. It is incredible how the Lord places people strategically in your lives at the right moment. When you begin to feel lonely friends come along who you did not even realize you had missed so much--what a blessing! :) Family....Family is the encouragement God wanted to give us here on earth. Now are families dysfunctional? Of course. Are some families broken and in desperate need of the grace and love of Jesus? Most definitely. I know mine is. However, the beauty that comes with hurt and despair in one family member's life becomes felt by the whole family. And guess what? This moment and pain in one family member's life can bring the whole family together and show them things about themselves that they were not ready to changes before.
I was always praying for my family. Praying direction and faith in their lives, and guess what? Through my pain they are beginning to find this. They have hope, we have been praying for guidance and direction as a family, and my wonderful Dad is finally beginning to see the amazing things God has ordained him to do. Wow, so exciting! Also, through this pain, I am beginning to shed light on my giftings and have begun to use those giftings to bless other people around me. Yes, I still have plenty of moments of weaknesses where I just want to give up, but with the love and strength God has given me and the people He is strategically placing in my life I am pulled through the mire and stand firm on their hope and faith as well as my own (Rom. 1:12).
Thank you my wonderful Father!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Strength
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~ 2 Cor. 12:9
I am so weak. My mind is weak, my spirit is weak, and I am tired. I am tired of crying, tired of praying, and tired of attempting to practice self-control. The sad thing is that I am drained and it has only been one day. The Lord has done so much in the past few days to evidence His hand in my life. However, I am still continually having to fight the enemies thoughts and my owns thoughts and actions. When will I relinquish everything to Him? At the end of the day, yesterday, I thought I had submitted everything to the Lord, but when I woke up this morning I realized that is not the case. I am hurting deeply, but at the same time reflecting on all the Lord spoke to me yesterday. It is incredible how part of the reason I am hurting is because I lost the vision and purpose for my life. Deep down I know I am very responsible for the hurt I am feeling and it is a guilt-ridden feeling, knowing that I pulled someone along with me. I took someone else's vision and made it my own.
However, God's timing is always perfect and last night He opened up an opportunity for me to attend a church service about personalities and giftings. I learned my giftings (which wasn't a complete surprise). I realized I knew myself a lot better than I thought I did. I am gifted in Mercy, Exhortation, Faith (this one was actually shocking considering the circumstances), Service/Help, and Hospitality. This is a step towards discovering and developing my purposed-driven life and is very encouraging.
The hurt is more difficult in the mornings, with the LONG day looming in front of me. It felt like yesterday would never did, but IT DID! And I slept--Praise the Lord!
Wow do I feel better after I write down all that my soul is oppressed with. Thank you my beautiful Jesus for coming to my rescue and giving me outlets and resources in my time of need.
Love your daughter.
I am so weak. My mind is weak, my spirit is weak, and I am tired. I am tired of crying, tired of praying, and tired of attempting to practice self-control. The sad thing is that I am drained and it has only been one day. The Lord has done so much in the past few days to evidence His hand in my life. However, I am still continually having to fight the enemies thoughts and my owns thoughts and actions. When will I relinquish everything to Him? At the end of the day, yesterday, I thought I had submitted everything to the Lord, but when I woke up this morning I realized that is not the case. I am hurting deeply, but at the same time reflecting on all the Lord spoke to me yesterday. It is incredible how part of the reason I am hurting is because I lost the vision and purpose for my life. Deep down I know I am very responsible for the hurt I am feeling and it is a guilt-ridden feeling, knowing that I pulled someone along with me. I took someone else's vision and made it my own.
However, God's timing is always perfect and last night He opened up an opportunity for me to attend a church service about personalities and giftings. I learned my giftings (which wasn't a complete surprise). I realized I knew myself a lot better than I thought I did. I am gifted in Mercy, Exhortation, Faith (this one was actually shocking considering the circumstances), Service/Help, and Hospitality. This is a step towards discovering and developing my purposed-driven life and is very encouraging.
The hurt is more difficult in the mornings, with the LONG day looming in front of me. It felt like yesterday would never did, but IT DID! And I slept--Praise the Lord!
Wow do I feel better after I write down all that my soul is oppressed with. Thank you my beautiful Jesus for coming to my rescue and giving me outlets and resources in my time of need.
Love your daughter.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
JOY=Vision
I have been angry, at myself and God, but at the end of it all I realize I have free will and the choice to control the attitude I decide to encompass. I can choose to follow the amazing path God has for my life and choose JOY, or I can make the choice to cater to the enemy that is lurking behind every bend in the road and makes other choices, that are not of the Lord, look enticing. So, guess what?...I choose JOY. Yes, the hurt is still there and sleep is still difficult, but we have the promise that the Lord will never leave or forsake us and will never give us more than we can handle (Habrews 13:5).
Vision. Vision is what we must strive for and seek with all our hearts. We must not let our focus stray beyond that of what God has planned for our lives;Because when our vision strays from the Lord's will and starts to take the shape of our vision or the world's around us we become disenfranchised with the beauty and the plan the Lord has for our lives. With this disenfranchisment comes discontentment and hurt. The hurt not only hurts yourself, but so many others around you,which is the biggest struggle many of us have to find forgiveness and grace in. Without vision there are not constraints and boundaries, which also bring hurt and discomfort--none of which God has planned for our lives. Darkness and light cannot inhabit the same place, and that is why we must choose vision. Furthermore, worship is so crucial in finding your vision and destiny, thus we cannot lose focus and CANNOT ever, ever stop worshipping our wonderful Lord and Savior. We must take every thought into captivity (2 Cor. 10:5), so we can carry out obedience for the Lord. Only then can we begin experiencing OUR VISION and DESTINY. If you choose to worship and continually engage in the Word the Lord, your thought mode will lead to your destiny. Just as King David had everything, but was not content with his many wives and so chose the one woman who he could not have, he lost his integrity, but still the Lord never was too far away for him to be forgiven and still be blessed (2 Samuel). Yes, he faced hurt and punishment because of his poor choices and lost his firstborn son, but the Lord still blessed him abundantly by given him Solomon, the wisest man in all of history. If God can blessed David after all his integrity was demolished,due to his sin and poor choices,think how much more the Lord can deliver us and bless us abundantly if we seek Him with all our hearts and follow our vision He will show us (Jer. :13; Deut. 4:29).
So, have you been hurt and thought you would never recover? I have all. Most people have. And if you have not already, you probably will because it is our human nature. We are sinners and with sin comes despair and hurt. However, it does not have to be that way. You can believe God has the plans for your life (Jer. 29:11), seek him wholeheartedly through loving others daily, and go after your gifts that the Lord has possessed you with. Yes, we may falter along the way and with that unsteadiness may come some heartache. However, by placing God at the forefront of your journey and valuable spirit-filled people in your life the journey will become much more bearable and you will reach a place where you have total faith and trust in our amazing God and begin to embrace all He has in store for you.
Please, before you reach the hurt and despair that the enemy is so desperately trying to push upon your ordained life, remember that we can admit our sins and problems (before they become known to the world and lead to worse despair), we can renew and transform our mind and body (Romans 12:2), and lastly we can forget and forgive (allowing ourselves to move on and push towards our vision and destiny).
Learn to love yourself as Christ loves you, embrace your God-given gifts, and share that love and gift with those around you and will begin to find healing and contentment in your daily life. Does this mean it will always be an easy trek? Of course not. Every day the enemy will try to creep into our thoughts and mind and try to engulf our presence, but remember you have been given the strength to overcome every obstacle and everything that will continue to be thrown your way. Don't lose heart by what our culture tells you and continue to run your race for the Lord and seek that which is unseen, because what is unseen is eternal (2 Cor. 4:18).
I love you and I love Jesus Christ!!!!!
Vision. Vision is what we must strive for and seek with all our hearts. We must not let our focus stray beyond that of what God has planned for our lives;Because when our vision strays from the Lord's will and starts to take the shape of our vision or the world's around us we become disenfranchised with the beauty and the plan the Lord has for our lives. With this disenfranchisment comes discontentment and hurt. The hurt not only hurts yourself, but so many others around you,which is the biggest struggle many of us have to find forgiveness and grace in. Without vision there are not constraints and boundaries, which also bring hurt and discomfort--none of which God has planned for our lives. Darkness and light cannot inhabit the same place, and that is why we must choose vision. Furthermore, worship is so crucial in finding your vision and destiny, thus we cannot lose focus and CANNOT ever, ever stop worshipping our wonderful Lord and Savior. We must take every thought into captivity (2 Cor. 10:5), so we can carry out obedience for the Lord. Only then can we begin experiencing OUR VISION and DESTINY. If you choose to worship and continually engage in the Word the Lord, your thought mode will lead to your destiny. Just as King David had everything, but was not content with his many wives and so chose the one woman who he could not have, he lost his integrity, but still the Lord never was too far away for him to be forgiven and still be blessed (2 Samuel). Yes, he faced hurt and punishment because of his poor choices and lost his firstborn son, but the Lord still blessed him abundantly by given him Solomon, the wisest man in all of history. If God can blessed David after all his integrity was demolished,due to his sin and poor choices,think how much more the Lord can deliver us and bless us abundantly if we seek Him with all our hearts and follow our vision He will show us (Jer. :13; Deut. 4:29).
So, have you been hurt and thought you would never recover? I have all. Most people have. And if you have not already, you probably will because it is our human nature. We are sinners and with sin comes despair and hurt. However, it does not have to be that way. You can believe God has the plans for your life (Jer. 29:11), seek him wholeheartedly through loving others daily, and go after your gifts that the Lord has possessed you with. Yes, we may falter along the way and with that unsteadiness may come some heartache. However, by placing God at the forefront of your journey and valuable spirit-filled people in your life the journey will become much more bearable and you will reach a place where you have total faith and trust in our amazing God and begin to embrace all He has in store for you.
Please, before you reach the hurt and despair that the enemy is so desperately trying to push upon your ordained life, remember that we can admit our sins and problems (before they become known to the world and lead to worse despair), we can renew and transform our mind and body (Romans 12:2), and lastly we can forget and forgive (allowing ourselves to move on and push towards our vision and destiny).
Learn to love yourself as Christ loves you, embrace your God-given gifts, and share that love and gift with those around you and will begin to find healing and contentment in your daily life. Does this mean it will always be an easy trek? Of course not. Every day the enemy will try to creep into our thoughts and mind and try to engulf our presence, but remember you have been given the strength to overcome every obstacle and everything that will continue to be thrown your way. Don't lose heart by what our culture tells you and continue to run your race for the Lord and seek that which is unseen, because what is unseen is eternal (2 Cor. 4:18).
I love you and I love Jesus Christ!!!!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Peace only He can give
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.
~John 14:27
Being hurt by and losing the person you love most in the world is a feeling that is indescribable in words. It consists of losing your appetite, becoming sleep deprived, and also learning how much God loves you. Yes, human nature pushes me to hate myself for the mistakes I made, wants me to rack my brain on how I could have done things differently (would it really have changed things?), but most importantly makes me want to go back to my old self-sufficient/independent self where I keep my heart hardened. However, known of those get me any closer to becoming the person God has planned me to be, and definitely does not give me the love of my life back. The hardest part of the situation is having no clarity. But, clarity would also not increase my faith and trust in God. I truly believed my heart could not take this, but although it feels like daggers piercing my soul I know I will become stronger and one day will understand everything I do not understand now (which is a whole lot).
One of the main things I do not understand is why God would bring people together multiple times and then once again take them apart. Yes, you can work on yourself and growing in Christ as an individual anytime, but when does the growth as a couple and with the mate God has ordained for you come into play?
Also, when someone promises you all these things, and you trust that, and then plan the next year of your life in accordance, how do you do all the same things without them beside you when you had planned them together?? Huff--had to vent Lord.
Timing really is everything. But, how can you trust the Lord when that time really aligns? Furthermore, praying for patience is one of the hardest things I have ever done. (I guess God decided to wreck my life in order for me to see Him in all His glory and follow Him with all my heart--at least that is what Pastor Joe always says)
All I know is that the ONLY thing you can trust and count on in life is the love of Jesus Christ. No, I will never forget the person who I prayed for everyday and saw things in them that they did not see in themself. I will pray they find themself in Christ and in his grace and mercy, but most importantly I will pray that at the end of their journey they find their way back to me ( a new, refined, sanctified me). And if this is not the Lord's plan for my life I will pray that my heart is pieced back together along the way and that I am not damaged and hard-hearted if God brings someone else He has planned for me along.
I cannot write anymore because my tears are not allowing, but I pray and hope someone is touched because of my human struggles and confusion, but mostly because of my love for the Lord.
~John 14:27
Being hurt by and losing the person you love most in the world is a feeling that is indescribable in words. It consists of losing your appetite, becoming sleep deprived, and also learning how much God loves you. Yes, human nature pushes me to hate myself for the mistakes I made, wants me to rack my brain on how I could have done things differently (would it really have changed things?), but most importantly makes me want to go back to my old self-sufficient/independent self where I keep my heart hardened. However, known of those get me any closer to becoming the person God has planned me to be, and definitely does not give me the love of my life back. The hardest part of the situation is having no clarity. But, clarity would also not increase my faith and trust in God. I truly believed my heart could not take this, but although it feels like daggers piercing my soul I know I will become stronger and one day will understand everything I do not understand now (which is a whole lot).
One of the main things I do not understand is why God would bring people together multiple times and then once again take them apart. Yes, you can work on yourself and growing in Christ as an individual anytime, but when does the growth as a couple and with the mate God has ordained for you come into play?
Also, when someone promises you all these things, and you trust that, and then plan the next year of your life in accordance, how do you do all the same things without them beside you when you had planned them together?? Huff--had to vent Lord.
Timing really is everything. But, how can you trust the Lord when that time really aligns? Furthermore, praying for patience is one of the hardest things I have ever done. (I guess God decided to wreck my life in order for me to see Him in all His glory and follow Him with all my heart--at least that is what Pastor Joe always says)
All I know is that the ONLY thing you can trust and count on in life is the love of Jesus Christ. No, I will never forget the person who I prayed for everyday and saw things in them that they did not see in themself. I will pray they find themself in Christ and in his grace and mercy, but most importantly I will pray that at the end of their journey they find their way back to me ( a new, refined, sanctified me). And if this is not the Lord's plan for my life I will pray that my heart is pieced back together along the way and that I am not damaged and hard-hearted if God brings someone else He has planned for me along.
I cannot write anymore because my tears are not allowing, but I pray and hope someone is touched because of my human struggles and confusion, but mostly because of my love for the Lord.
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